The Act Of Burning Is Alchemy

From ashes we rise - reborn, reshaped, renewed.

I arrived Home,

only after going Home.

Home, that elusive place,

now lives within moments,

in Community,

among Humans I Love and Serve.

For a year I wrote nothing.

I lived instead,

deeply,

painfully,

beautifully.

Loss found me,

and never left.

It took everything:

Beloveds, unborn children, family, pets,

money, possessions, purpose…

my sense of Self,

Spirit,

my Mind.

I lost until losing was my only teacher.

I surrendered…

control,

desire,

destinations,

attachments.

Life broke me open,

and gently placed me

in Presence.

The Dark Night came

and lasted nine months…

a Re-birth.

I fell apart,

disillusioned with borrowed wisdom,

yearning only for truths already in my bones.

I wept,

screamed,

begged,

and wished to die.

Yet, in that same darkness,

I discovered unseen parts of my Spirit.

Visions arrived,

Art flowed,

community shifted,

my purpose clarified.

I rose from ashes,

like a Phoenix…

but first came the Burning.

For years I’d chased healing,

endless rituals,

courses,

teachings.

Now, I simply dance with life,

integrating every lesson learned…

trusting experience as my greatest teacher.

Ancient wisdom whispered softly:

“There are no mistakes.

Just lessons repeating until learned.”

All answers,

already within me,

in my bones and blood.

I build,

I create,

in Sacred Service to Spirit,

my heart aligned with truth.

In the desert,

amid dust and flames,

I found my mirror,

reflecting every joy,

and every shadow.

My grief poured unfiltered,

held by friends who truly loved.

This year,

after rebirth,

my energy softened,

grounded,

gentle.

Stress became calm acceptance.

Love arrived unexpected,

transformative,

healing wounds buried deep.

Yet pain remained:

Medicine turned poison,

my body broke,

my plans scattered,

lessons taught through collapse.

Burning the Man and Temple

was alchemy…

pieces of myself,

burned to ash,

reborn, remembered.

And now ,

I wear the ashes of grief,

for 80,000 people

around my neck,

Every day.

Love and loss intertwined,

giving birth to transformation.

I learned deeply:

we laugh together,

yet weep alone.

We cherish tenderness,

yet seldom share the ache.

Heartbreak reshaped me.

Abandonment opened me.

Emotional violence taught me boundaries,

pain became my greatest muse.

Art now emerges

from the depth of wounds,

paintings,

sculptures,

stories,

service.

My creations infused

forever

with grief

and love.

I learned:

Hurt people, hurt people…

or they create Art.

I’m done with hearts freely broken,

with lies,

abuse,

chewed up truths.

Now I simply share my heart,

my shattered heart,

as it is…

unapologetic.

The next chapter:

Slowness,

stillness,

quiet reflection,

dance, play, ritual,

creation through story, paint, sculpture.

Listening, learning,

loving, nourishing,

connection,

presence.

I’m grateful for the desert,

for nurturing,

connecting,

bewildering,

welcoming me home,

exactly as I am.

When everything else falls away,

what remains?

Myself,

Mother Nature,

and Spirit.

Let it burn.

Let me burn.

From ashes,

something new.

I’m ready,

for something new.

<3 Curly