Carrying Grief

Something that binds us all together: the experience of Grief and Loss. It's a weight we carry; a journey that feels non-linear and senseless.

Soulmates act as mirrors, offering an opportunity for profound learning. Tell me, if I desire Love… will I be just given Love? Or given the opportunity to Love?

In the midst of the pain, an opportunity emerges to heal the wounds left by my Father & my Mother. Mirrors reflecting my tone, defensiveness, and the relationship between my emotional and physical self become crystal clear. An opportunity… to find my Voice, my Dance, my People, and my Ancestors. An opportunity to heal abandonment and attachment wounds. An opportunity for boundaries and clarity. An opportunity for deeper levels of Love-Making. An opportunity to step into a new era of Wholeness. An opportunity to remember that we can deeply Love and care for the things that we can’t have. An opportunity to Create.

The pain alchemizes into a gift, revealing illusion: the children we didn't get to raise, the home we didn't get to build, the depths of love left undiscovered, the adventures we lost, dances together are now dances alone, dreams destroyed, sacred union that isn’t real, art we didn’t create, ways we won’t grow… grieving not just the loss of Her, but also the life that we didn’t get to live.

Loss. Loss. Loss. Friends. Grandparents. Nephew. Beloved. Illusions. Aspects of Self. It all dies. Each new day brings forward loss… and a palpable fear - not of death - but of ending up alone, unheard and unseen.

The only way out, is through the pain. Feeling it all. They don’t tell you how much it will hurt to feel. And the Grief comes in waves. I’m unsure if we ever really stop carrying it. We Grieve the weight of the World, together, every day.

In these constant endings, lies growth, discovery, and healing. Birth. Creation. New. Every loss is a step into the light; revealing shadows and teaching valuable lessons. Life is delicate; a constant balance between loss and creation.

Love is fragile, a flame. Don’t let it burn out of control, and don’t let it flicker out. Dear Flame Tender - Be careful with your Love, and tend to your delicate flame… for once it's gone, you may never have it again.

Perhaps the greatest risk we take is to Love… to connect deeply with another human being. 

Perhaps there is no other-half of me; I’m both disillusioned, and Whole - scars from no longer bleeding wounds.

Wading in the Grief, I constantly unveil parts of my Self.

I am defined by my Heart. And Life will continue without me.

Oh Grief, we build Temples to hold and move you. It takes great courage to be with you.

The risk of Love has to involve Heartbreak, doesn’t it?

Grief, old friend, thank you for the wisdom in your pain.